life, love and hair tips

sometimes I wish I could protest

I wish I could protest

I truly do

I’m passionate about the cause (fight the power)

I’m passionate about changing the world

 

But I just can’t protest

Because the idea of putting myself in a space where I’m unwanted is too much for me

The idea of being close to police is too much for me

 

I hate the police

I hate what they do to people who look like me and to those that don’t

I hate what they represent

I hate the fact that I tense up in the driver’s seat when I see a police car pass by me

I hate the fact that they could do whatever they want to me and I can’t stop them

 

I promised myself I would never put myself in that situation ever again

Where a man could take complete control over me

And I can’t let 13-year-old Mayah down

I promised I would protect her

I promised I would never let it happen again

I promised her

 

So I just can’t

Even though my heart is invested in the cause

Even though I’ve studied so much the facts jumbled up in my head

Even though everyone expects me to

 

I just can’t

Can I be honest? White men scare me

Not individually, but conceptually

The power, the ability to do things and get away with it, the privilege, the fact that they could kill me and not a damn thing would happen

 

So I don’t protest

Cause I need to protect my space

IT’S MY SPACE

things change

As you all know, I’m always advocating for living your best life, and making the best decisions for you. One part of that that we often forget about is the releasing of guilt. My yoga teacher yesterday talked about how we need to let go of any guilt we have, because it doesn’t serve us. When things change, you have to make different decisions. And some times, that means that you feel guilty when these decisions are made. It’s just part of putting yourself first. I’ve been doing a lot of things lately that have involved putting me first, and though I know it’s the right thing to do, I sometimes feel bad doing it. But I shouldn’t feel bad. I need to put myself first and so do you. Understand that guilt is a natural emotion and let it go. Everything changes and you don’t need to feel guilty for going with the flow. Just be happy that you’re growing. My roommate told me: change is uncomfortable but if you never change you’ll never grow and you don’t want to be 45 still acting 19. So embrace the change, it’s necessary for your growth.

my poem

I am currently taking an English class, which I need to be eligible to go to graduate school here at Michigan. We have to write some poems, and I wanted to share the first one I did with you all.

Love

Love saved me

No sé como explicarlo

But He did

 

I can’t explain al principio,

El medio, or right now

But I feel it

 

You’ve taught me how to be me

How to be strong

You is kind, you is smart, you is important

 

So thank you Love, for making me me

 

 

Since I didn’t get to explain my poem to my class, I wanted to explain it to you all. The first stanza is about God and refers to being saved by Love. When I was little my mom used to wear this shirt that said got Love? with Love being another name for God. The second stanza is more personal, and basically describes someone who I know loves me. I can’t really explain it our story, but I know when I’m with him that I feel that he loves me. He’s the first person I’ve ever met that makes me actually feel like that. (not including like my family). The last stanza is about my mom and I included a line from the movie The Help, cause I loved that movie and the scene. The last line refers back to God, which is why the Love is capitalized.

why I kneel…

I was asked by one of my professors, to write about the recent racial incidents that have been happening at the University of Michigan. Students had the n word written on their doors, there was a lot of racist writing in public areas, etc. The letter was to our fifth grade pen pals, and I decided I wanted to share it with you all. 

 

Dear Students,

 

Hello! My name is Mayah Wheeler and I attend the University of Michigan. Dr. Goldin, my professor, asked me to write to you all about one of the protests that happened this week here at Michigan.

Recently, there has been a lot of hate crimes, crimes that are committed because of racial, sexual or other prejudices, at Michigan. Hate crimes are normally violent, but here at Michigan, they have been non-violent. Since school started, on September 5th, there have been more than three hate crimes. That’s a lot, especially in such a short period of time. People have even written racial slurs, mean names used about people of a racial group, on people’s doors. It’s been crazy here at Michigan and honestly, it has scared me. The hate crimes this year have been directed towards Black and Latino students, whom together only make up 8% of the study body at Michigan.

The sad part is, the University of Michigan hasn’t punished the people that do these mean things to other students. You’re probably thinking- “Why not? The people writing the mean things are bullying students and bullying is wrong.” Sadly, I don’t know why they didn’t get in trouble. But because they didn’t get in trouble, some students have decided to protest. The protestors think that if they protest peacefully, maybe the President of the University will listen and punish the bullies. One of the people whom led a protest at Michigan this week is named Dana Greene Jr. Dana is a graduate student here and decided to kneel in front of the flag, to protest all the bullying that has gone on while he has attended Michigan. In his letter, which was passed out around campus, Dana talks about how he was watched people commit hate crimes against Black, Latino, Muslim, and immigrant students within the last five years. Dana says that he kneeled because he was tired of doing nothing and hoping that things would get better. I think what Dana meant was that after the hate crimes students, that are the victims of these crimes, hope that people will understand that they’re hurting other people and stop. Dana wanted to kneel until the President of the University would meet with him, but the President never came to talk to him.

I think Dana was right to protest. He protested to draw attention to all the hate crimes that have happened on the campus and was trying to make a positive difference. I hope that when you all read this letter, you understand that not all people here are bullies. But a lot of people here are being bystanders. And as I’m sure you all know, bystanders help the bullies. I challenge you all to be the ones who protest- stand up for what you think is right, treat people the way you want to be treated and be kind with your words. We all can make a difference and work towards making sure all students are treated with respect.

 

If you guys have any questions, write me back and I’ll make sure to answer anything you want to know!

 

Sincerely,

Mayah N. Wheeler

 

being true to you

Being true to yourself, your desires and how you feel is really important. Remember that you are a spiritual being, having a human experience. This means that you have the ability to get a feel for other’s auras and energy. This is important. Follow your gut feeling!!! If it feels like you shouldn’t be there, then leave. If it feels like you should be there, then stay. Remember that you’re on a guided journey, which will help you grow spiritually. You got this. My best advice is to meditate and do yoga. Doing yoga helps release old things, as well as meditation does. The releasing of these old things will allow space for you to be your authentic self. You’re on a journey of self-discovery- you’re constantly changing. So as you grow and change, just be true to yourself. Think with your heart and your head. And don’t forget to pray.

yoga is more than stretching

Very few people truly understand why I go to yoga religiously. And for a long time I didn’t want to share why, because I wanted to define my own life and tried to micromanage the images others had of me. I have chosen to define myself my way, and I know now that other opinions of me are simply just opinions. So it’s time to get deep. I strayed away from talking about God, especially on my blog, because I didn’t want to be one of those people. But I am close to God (in fact Mayah means close to God in Hebrew). My relationship with God is just a little different than the “traditional”. I do yoga because yoga allows me to clear the blocks of energy that are blocking me from connecting fully and completely with God. I get guidance from God and my angels during yoga. Yoga is an out of body, in body and spiritual experience for me. I do yoga because it makes me soul so happy and I always feel full of love after class. I do yoga because yoga purifies and cleanses the energies that no longer serve me and allows me to help protect my energy. Everyone has their own reason to do yoga, but that is mine. I started doing yoga consistently in June 2016. I was going through a rougher patch- a relationship that meant/means a lot to me was going through a transition and I was scared, I was going to college and I was scared. My whole life was about to change and then I started doing yoga. I’ve kept going since then. I even did it once (which was super hard) while I was in Ecuador. Yoga is so important to me, because being close to God is so important to me. And it’s time I shared that.

alone time

one of the things I love the most is my own space. I enjoy it just being me. Sometimes, especially if there are a lot of people, I will purposely not go do something simply just to have my own space. It’s not that I dislike being around other people, it’s because I’m learning to protect my energy. During the first kundalini class I went to with my mother, we did this exercise were we purposely discussed all of the things that were “going wrong” in our lives with God. One of the things I mentioned was “why can’t I make friends?”; majority of the friendships I’ve had have ended, and I only really have two friends, and I don’t always talk to one of them that often. And I got a response from God very quickly; He said “It’s because you need to protect your energy”. I am a ray of sunshine (these are words from others but I agree completely) and I am a healer. Because of this, I feel like people are drawn to my bubbly personality, my caring spirit and quirky ways. But I have to protect my energy. It’s currently been a period of adjustment learning to do that. I feel as if when I’m in a group who wants me to go along, I have to assert my independence. It’s stepping into my power and really taking control over my life and what I want to do. I feel that this is an important lesson for me. Because the work that I’m doing in this lifetime is extremely important so I’m learning to allow others opinions of me simply be their opinions. It’s a process. One thing I’ve been doing to help a lot is yoga and meditation. It’s really been helping. So as I sit in my room right now, alone I embrace this space. I wanted a single, but having to share a room is exercising this muscle of control over myself, my power and my energy. I completely get to choose who I do interact with and how much. So my answer to things has been no a lot lately and it’s liberating. I’m in the driver’s seat in my life. And I think I need this experience to love that role.