reiki

tres meses

today marks three months, of “quarantine”. on march 12th, i was told i no longer needed to report at the site i was student teaching at, that classes would go online, and everything suddenly, quickly, swiftly changed.

i opted to stay in georgia instead of going home. honestly, i didn’t have much of an option. there was no way that i could have made a 10, almost 11 hour drive alone. the plan was, always, for me to fly home.

we briefly thought about me driving half way, meeting my mom, aunt and sister, and them driving me the rest of the way. but then it became well how would i get back to georgia? what if stuff was closed along the highway- like gas stations? there seemed to be no clear way for me to go home. so i stayed.

i made goals for myself. i thought about what i wanted to be like when i came out on the other side. i wanted to be more grateful. improve my confidence. get into yoga and meditation even deeper. strengthen my already steadfast faith in God. eat better. be happier. and then like outward appearance things like longer hair (which is going QUITE well if i do say so myself).

i’ve learned a lot being in this space.

the quality of relationships outweighs the quantity. every time
- i’ve gotten to think about who i REALLY want to talk to. and how often i really want to talk
  - i made a list and divided in into three parts: non-negotiables (have to have), preferences (really wanted), wants (i would like, but i could go without). it was two sections- work and personal. i tried to remain true to my desires- and focused on what i truly wanted instead of what was “reasonable”. i made decisions on the relationships i had based on these.
the desire for human contact is innate
- we all just want to be loved. love transcends hugs though. it’s a complex feeling of security, based on action. more on love here
  - i’ve also learned that i’m really a hugger.
breaks for technology are important
- breaks allow you to recharge and recenter. it’s important.
all of your emotional issues get stored in your body until you release them
- yoga, meditation, energy healing sessions and reiki have allowed me to release SO much. i’ve grown so much stronger during this pandemic.
you manifest the reality of your life
- your thoughts matter. i’ve learned ways to be gentler to myself, reminding myself that i’m still growing and it’s okay to be growing.
self-control is a skill
- and a very important one. i think of the long term goal and what want, and try to make decisions off that.
  - i take note of my avoidance and ponder on why i’m avoiding it. i try to think critically of my actions, with compassion, to see how i can help myself.

new space

I wrote the following to publish in October but never published it-

in this new space, i’ve been preparing for the future and all the good it’s going to bring me. i’ve been working on taking care of myself, doing my homework, and dedicating my limited time to things that make me happy. the last two weeks i’ve been super busy and after Monday, my life is going to slow down and I’m excited. i want to enjoy this new space. in this new space, i’m alone most of the time. i pretty much get up, get ready for work, work, go to class, do homework and then go home. i’ve had days where i haven’t talked to one person. it’s almost like isolation. i was talking to my cousin, cause she worked her way through school and she was basically like you have to make time to take care of yourself and hang out with people. i knew i would have to do to this, but it’s harder than i expected. like i studied (not alone) and was talking and laughing and i after was like mayah you were not nearly as productive as you are alone. it’s easy to be alone. i don’t disappoint myself. I’ve been working on being ore compassionate, so when I make mistakes, I know that I’m trying my best forreal. it’s so different for me to be alone. i used to never fr be alone, or if i was it was for a very short period of time and i would find someone to hang out with. and when i had roommate(s), i saw someone everyday. it’s different but i’m getting used to it. and i will say i love my new space.

so what are my goals? so i did a visualization activity with my chapter and it had to be personal. and what i really want is to make a best friend. like a really good friend. to do more yoga. to increase my therapeutic resources and tactics to reduce my anxiety. to be happier and figure out more of what makes me happy.

i keep the activity i did with my chapter in my planner. it shows exactly what i wanted at that time. it’s just a reminder that as i grow, i want to reflect on what i have gained. therapy was a great resource for me. it was a physical step of me saying i needed help. but i also used light therapy as well. light therapy is essentially energy work, like reiki or (energy) healing sessions. these have helped me a lot! this, along with meditations and yoga have helped me embrace my alone time. as i prepare to move, i know that i will be my own best friend, understanding that my alone time is crucial for my development. i look back and reflect on how bad i wanted to learn to love myself, but how i truly didn’t know how. for me it took self- discipline.

i write notes to myself to remind myself of what is important. one of the notes i have in my planner is “you’re doing the best you can and you did the best you could at that time and you will grow to do better. be patient, you’re growing.” when i saw this while flipping through my planner last week i thought “aww mayah that’s so nice you’re so nice to yourself”. and honestly, that’s the energy i’m going to keep- i deserve to be nice to myself. i deserve to be loved. by others but first and foremost, by mayah.

if you so feel compelled, check out the hyperlinks. the reiki one is to my mom’s site and the healing one is to eve’s site. they’re both amazing and have helped me tremendously throughout my journey. and while i’m here shouting out people, shoutout to monique (just cause she’s great and very helpful). love you all.

april 1st 2018

hello!

i hope all is well. i’ve been taking some time out to really continue on my growing process. one thing i’ve done lately is taken time to heal. a few weeks ago, i saw a post about how people often don’t take time to heal, but just keep going. so a lot of old stuff has come up and i’ve been able to heal, through releasing, reiki (thanks mommy!) and yoga. this is one of the consequences of mercury being in retrograde; old things will be brought up. mercury being in retrograde used to be something that I saw as annoying; i would be upset that my communication wasn’t going well or that my phone was bugging. as i’ve gotten older, i’ve realized the beauty in taking a break and healing. changing how i communicate, to be more thorough is beneficial not annoying. healing and crying from past wounds is beneficial, not annoying. i feel like when i go on twitter a lot of people are acting as if mercury being in retrograde is the worst, but it’s actually the opposite. Open your heart to change and growth and allow mercury being in retrograde to heal you and help you grow. Meditate more, take more time for you, and have a little more patience. and remember, all is well.

letting it all go

If you look at just about any of my blogs, one of the reoccurring themes is always letting go. For years, I’ve started to understand the importance of letting go and trusting that where I am is exactly where I’m supposed to be. Some things are easier to let go of than others. I’m learning that when you let things go, you often have a re-do. You can either try again or completely let it go. My advice would be to follow your heart. In your heart you know exactly what you need to do. So follow your heart. Letting go completely is a process, which varies in time. Be patient with yourself. Understand that releasing completely is important. You got this. You just have to understand that you need to let it go all of the way to actually get over it. Getting over things is a process. You go through stages where at times you’re more “over it” than others. I feel that way too. To be honest, sometimes I’m not all the way over the fact that all of my relationships have changed. Sometimes I’m not over the fact that I don’t have any close friends. Most of the time I am, but sometimes it’s like I realize my whole world is different. The most important thing is understanding that different is good. You’re constantly growing and changing, so everything must change as well. When you think of it in other terms it makes it easier. A three month old doesn’t act the same as a six month old, who doesn’t act the same as a nine month old. So why would you act the same you did three months ago? Remember that changing is good. To cope with letting go, I’ve turned to yoga. Yoga heals everything to be honest. With a combination of yoga and reiki I’ve been working to let everything go!

hello! i know it’s been a while since i’ve posted, but i wanted to make sure i do a special post for the new year. my new year started a week ago, when i turned 20 years old and i’m excited to see what 20 and 2018 will bring me. what i’ve noticed is that i wasn’t taking very good care of my spiritual self. i wasn’t meditating or doing yoga like i should’ve been and overall i just felt like i was in a funk. i realized i never turn to reiki for help. it’s not purposeful, i think about it but i never ask my mom. so we were talking and the day after I asked her to do it for me. for those of you that do not know what reiki is, i can’t really explain it well but i’ll take you all through the process. we scheduled an appt for 3:15, in my room. she has her own massage table with a heated mattress pad. reiki basically is an energy shifting/clearing process. so she first does reiki on the room, before my appt. then i come in at my appt time. i lay on the table and she started her process. i always fall asleep (btw you’re fully clothed during reiki unlike a massage where you aren’t). afterwards, I felt so much better and have felt better since. I want to make sure that I continue scheduling appts with my mom. As my mom always says “try it, reiki can only help you”. Feel free to check out her blog here