less than a month ago, i moved across the country. literally packed up my stuff and had it shipped. you see that was hard because it was on a time crunch and i felt like i was constantly running out of time and that if i slowed down any more everything i wanted and and hoped for would past me by and i would be unable to obtain it.
you see what people don’t tell you about moving is that everything changes. literally everything. and you see i should know this because i’ve moved before and maybe i have felt this pain before but right feels like my heart is coming out of my chest and i don’t know how i’m doing what i’m doing it’s just that all i know is that I was sent here for a reason and that reason was to help people. and that when i remember that it’s like i can finally breath again.
everything changes though. i’ve had to learn new streets, new laws, new historical facts, how georgia does this, how atlanta does that. and let me tell you, the South is very different from the North. i’m learning more and more how to be alone. how to be in this new space. and most of the time i won’t admit that it’s crazy that i thought it was a good idea to move across the country.
i’ve been crying all day. it’s like i want to stop but i cannot because once i opened the gate it’s like the river started flowing and flowing and it’s like now i have all this sadness left to deal with because i’m here and not there and i’m missing EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. i am missing everything that is going on with every single person i love because i am not there. and it’s hard because i have nothing to focus on here besides school and we all know you cannot stay sane and think about school 24/7. i have missed a baby being born. i have missed a fashion show. i will miss birthdays and celebrations and births. life has not pasued because i am not there nor will it ever.
and sometime in the future i hope i become okay with all this and i hope the plan is relieved but God knows that in this very momenet it is very hard for me and i am very sad and very scared because i am very sad and alone.
i’m laying down, its 6 am and i’m in my apartment in atlanta. that’s crazy for me to even say. i moved. across the country. my biggest accomplishment of the decade was graduating early with a 3.6. my biggest change was moving to go to graduate school. these things happened within the same month. within a month, my whole world has literally changed. while my heart aches, for fear of the new, it also smiles. this is my chance to start over. to be me from the beginning. i’m nervous while excited. sad but happy. the complexity of these emotions is interesting. it’s all new. all of it. so i am writing to tell God and my angels thank you for your support in 2019 and all the years prior. i devote this year to serving You and fulfilling my purpose.
So a lot of what has been on my mind is going to graduate school. And to be frank, it stresses me out. I have to main options: Georgia State University and University of Michigan (GSU being my #1). There’s tons of stuff I’ve been worried about, like scholarships, how I’ll balance things, graduating, etc. And I haven’t been coping with it well. But today, I’ve decided to just live in the moment. I will do my best to prepare myself and trust that I will be supported throughout the process. I’m learning to live in the present, which is what my yoga is teaching me. So I’ll just be taking my time. Always remember there is always enough time.
For the last week, I’ve been pretty much house-ridden. My asthma has been bothering me, I didn’t have to work, so I’ve just been relaxing and focusing on healing myself. One thing I do miss though, is yoga.
this is a picture of (from left to right)- Kaitlyn (my roommate), Lauryn (Monique’s best friend and future roommate), me, and Monique (my younger sister), after we went to yoga on the 15th. After, we were talking and one of the things I said I loved most about yoga is the fact that it’s the one time I am completely in the moment. I am only focused on what’s in front of me and completely connected with my body. So I use it as an escape; from negativity, stress, etc. Yoga helps me heal and honestly, has gotten me through my first two years of college. Last month, during finals I went to yoga almost everyday and it really reduced my stress. Yoga is my hobby and one of my favorite things to do.
just a few pictures from my yoga photoshoot in March; photo credits to Blake Coleman (thanks!!!)
what’s your favorite thing about yoga? Comment below!
towards the end of last year, I was debating on what I wanted to major and minor in. I was interested in minoring through the sociology department (it’s called Law, Justice and Social Change). I thought the major would give me more ways to help my students. I want to teach and I always have known that, but I didn’t know if I wanted to do an elementary education major. the course is super specific and i would basically have to give up any opportunity to learn anything else in college. so when i went to the meeting, i knew that i was interested in the minor but didn’t know how i could fit that in, or study spanish (which i want to do so i remain fluent). so when i met with a counselor through the sociology department, she recommended i meet with a professor within the school of education. i met with maria, and honestly it changed my life. she told me that i could major in spanish and minor in whatever i wanted and could go to graduate school to become a teacher. since i already planned on going to graduate school it seemed like a perfect fit. she also wanted me to apply to this program called A2LP, where Michigan students work in Ann Arbor public schools in third or fourth grade to teach spanish and they gain upper level spanish credit (and the upper level credits are necessary to complete the major requirements). i had heard of the program before she mentioned it, but the rest of our conversation is what made me join. she told me she needed black teachers in the program, because there were a lack of black teachers and that students need teachers that they look like. she’s a former principal and she talked about the importance of representation in administration for students. i appreciated her honesty and i know about the importance of representation so i wanted/want to be that role model. so this year I will be teaching Spanish! i will have a teaching partner and i’m super excited. i had to send in a photo and a biography for the parents! so since my last professional photos were done my senior year (almost two years ago!!), I i did a photoshoot in my backyard (see pictures below). My mommy did a great job with the pictures (can you tell her twin brother is a professional photographer/videographer?!) right under this i have the bio i used. i’ve been waiting my whole life to start teaching officially and now the time is coming soon! ill keep you all posted. always remember to follow your dreams, because your happiness is all that matters.
¡Hola! My name is Mayah and I am ecstatic about working with your children this fall! I have been working with kids for a little over four years. Some of my experiences in education include teaching English to Ecuadorian students and working as a translator at Foundations Preschool in Ann Arbor. I am passionate about equitable education for all students so I plan to major in Spanish and attend graduate school to study Elementary Education.