how to know your relationship is over

No one gets in relationships to break up. When you enter a relationship your goal should be to be with that person. I’m not saying that you should be thinking marriage right off the bat but after a while (which is relative to the situation), it’s normal to start thinking about whether you would want to be with that person for life. Life is constantly changing and sometimes (sadly) relationships have to end.┬áBut there a signs to know when your relationship is coming to an end. Below are three major signs that your relationship is coming to an end.

  • Lack of communication

Communicating in a relationship is like eating healthy foods- it’s not “mandatory” but it is key to a healthy lifestyle/relationship. Without proper communication there will be unresolved issues, which can turn into unresolved recurring issues (which I’ll talk about). Bad communication allows arguments to happen. If you can communicate properly and work out your issues, then your relationship will be healthier. You always have to remember that effort works both ways. If the person doesn’t seem to want to work on communicating, that is a red flag that this relationship might not be right for you. You deserve someone who wants to make things work- so if they’re not it’s time for you to reevaluate the relationship.

  • Distance

Distance is good for relationships. It allows you to be your own individual people and keeps you from “losing” yourself by giving too much in a relationship. But at a certain point distance is toxic. I’m referring to the fact that relationships thrive on interaction. While being apart is good, little to no interaction may leave you feeling like you’re single while you’re really in a relationship. If you get to the point where you’re feeling like you never see them or they’re not making time for you consistently, it may be a sign that they don’t want the relationship anymore.

  • Unresolved reoccurring issues

All relationships have issues. But if it seems that there is truly a central issue, you have to really think about the five w’s and h:

who- who is affected?

why- why does this keep happening?

what- what can we do to solve this?

where- where does this problem start?

when- when is enough enough?

how- how does this problem keep happening?

These are good questions to use to really evaluate what is going on in your relationship. Some reoccurring issues can be solved but if it seems as if you’re always arguing over the same thing, it may be because you both want different things.

Relationships end for a variety of different reasons and you have to understand that this is all happening for a reason. And that everything is in divine order. Eventually you’ll understand why the relationship ended and be content. Time heals all.

#blacklivesmatter

With all of the uproar about police brutality, I just wanted to comment on what is going on. Though I know minimal about the recent cases, I do know that police brutality towards African-Americans has always been a problem. And it will continue to be a problem until the system changes. In my opinion, the easiest way to change the system is to be a part of the system and remake it. The relationship between the police and the community is very strained which allows immersion into the system to be harder.  This is due to the injustices that happen. Another way to stop this is through education. This fall, I’m taking a writing seminar called Race, Rioting and Police Brutality in the US in the 1960s. I want to educate myself on my past. One of the requirements for graduation in LSA at University of Michigan is Race and Ethnicities (courses related to that topic). With this, people will gain more knowledge on people and the past/present. I’m glad this is a requirement just because I think it’s important to learn about and because Michigan is a PWI (Primarily White Institution). It’s going to force people to see the world differently, even if they want to act like racial issues aren’t real. We talked a lot about race relations in my sociology class and about how people don’t always want to believe these issues are real and where these issues come from. Everyone should take a sociology class because it’s eye opening. I think this will also spark change in the system. To me, it is crazy that the police get away with killing people, as if murder isn’t supposed to be illegal. I was discussing this with my mother earlier, and she pointed out that this is nothing new. She discusssed different issues, such as segregated water fountains. One day, I pray, that the laws will reflect that the lives of African-Americans matter. The whole #blacklivesmatter movement is simply a reflection of how black lives are undervalued and why they should be valued. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and as a whole African-Americans are not treated with respect. Yesterday there was a protest at my university. I didn’t know, and I happened to just walk past (it was very peaceful). I wish I would’ve went just to see what it’s like to stand up for what you believe in. Literally to stand and support a cause.  I believe that our lives need to matter while we are alive and death should be a reflection of our accomplishments (which happens when you die naturally). Black lives matter doesn’t mean Black lives are the only lives that matter, it’s just saying that those who have been killed unjustly matter. You matter.