hurt – mayah's site

its another night that i’m up around 3, with a lot of discomfort. my stomach hurts- i’ve been in pain for weeks. when i went to the doctor i was told to increase my fiber and take daily laxactives. i did the first part- there’s just no way i can take a laxactive everyday. i’ve been drinking soluble fiber- in the form of capsules and juice. it’s getting things rolling, but i’ve been drinking the juice and still had pain. the first day i drank it i was in so much pain we had to leave target cause i literally could not do the whole walking around thing.

it’s times like these, were i want to sleep but can’t, that i wonder what this discomfort is to teach me. it’s gone on so long it must be full of lessons.

you are what you eat- i’ve noticed the cleanier i eat (staying away from sugary snacks and dairy) the less pain i’m in. i’ve cut out dairy completely, after one day i was in so much pain i was lying on my mother crying. i’ve stopped eating late (after 7) for a pretty similar reason.

be patient- i’ve been waiting and waiting for my test results. but i guess i just have to be patient. it’s often makes me upset why i don’t have them yet, but i guess it’s not time yet.

trust your gut- literally. i’ve had to rely on feeling. while digestion has become more painful, i’ve had to rely on the facts. my doctor told me to increase my fiber. the first day i did i was in so much pain- i literally was almost crying in target.

i’m still not sure what’s wrong with my stomach, or why i’m up right now, but i’ve been asking. i want to learn from this, so i can grow. so hopefully i can fall back asleep soon and continue getting some rest- last night was the best sleep i’ve had in a minute so hopefully tonight is the same.

Obsessing over having a serious (possibly monogamous) relationship is not healthy. I see it all too often on social media, from both men and women. It’s a problem. And I’ll explain to you why. Being in a serious, healthy, loving relationship is a lot of work. Relationships take time, respect and love. Obsessing over why you might not have one is only hurting yourself. If you’re single, take this time to focus on you. Think about what you want for yourself, for your life and for your love life. Stop obsessing over others lives- social media doesn’t even show have the relationship. Find yourself. Love yourself. You are you, whether you’re in a relationship or not. Being involved in someone’s life is such a beautiful and precious thing. It needs to be treated as much. Social media has created these ideologies that if you’re single there is something wrong with you, or that you need to aspire to date someone who completes you. Yes the instagram couples might be cute. But there is so much more to them then you know. You should only be in competition with yourself, to be the best person you can be everyday. That does not mean you should compete with others (which is what you’re doing subconsciously). Take time to attract what you want in a relationship and grow as a person. You need to love yourself before love can find you. And be open to letting love find you. Go places. Meet people. Live your life. And then see what happens. You deserve happiness and love, and sitting on social media crying about it is only hurting you. Love is simple. People are sometimes complicated. There is so much more to love than people discuss on social media. Love is supporting someone when they don’t believe themselves. It’s being their biggest cheerleader. It’s completely accepting the people for who they are and loving them unconditionally because you’re in love with their spirit. It’s giving someone the space to grow and growing with them. Relationships take a lot of work. And when they’re with the right person it’s more than worth it. Let the right person enter your life. Take a risk and you might just surprise yourself. But the first step to finding love, is getting off your phone and starting to live your life.