how do we plan?

first, you figure out what you need.

how much sleep do you need? food? water? alone time? social time?

figure out what you need to keep going. one of the biggest thing for me, like i said in the last post is yoga. it relieves stress and grounds me. i know that i need sleep too.

most of all, i know i need like minded people to talk to. i need to think things out.

i need to find research and documentaries that valid/reflect my feelings. i find it inspirational

so think about what you need?

therapy? therapyforblackgirls.com will help you locate a therapist in your area that is black. it can often be helpful to turn inward to our community during this time.

sleep? try lavendar oil on your pillow. take a sea salt soak. or an epsom salt bath. this activities help relieve stress and will help you sleep

research? this gets a little more complicated. as an educator, i have turned to data bases such as ERIC, but i am unfamiliar with many other historical databases. but google could help with that.

i’m so proud of us

i’m really so proud of the progress everyone i know is making. we’re defining boundaries, clearing up expectations and being our authentic, emotional selves. and for this, we just give thanks. while it might be difficult and you may feel you’re being overly sensitive or emotional, just know that it’s you growing. your emotions are indicators; take them as tools and use them to help you develop. you’re becoming the best version of you. challenge yourself. i promise it’ll be worth all the hard work.

lately i’ve been working on defining my boundaries. my only true job is to take care of me. so i’ve been working on starting to do that more. and while it’s a lot of work, i’ve already been reaping the benefits.

let this post serve as a little motivation, to keep moving forward, and to remind you that are you are seen, heard and love.

sat nam (truth is my essence),

mayah

whew, i feel much better

i’ve spent most of my time lately, at home. while i’m still in school, i’ve had so much more time for yoga and meditation, and healing. i’m astonished at how much i’ve grown, in just two months. honestly i feel like a new person.

one of the biggest things for me is looking at my life from a different perspective. from the perspective that everything is happening for a reason, which is to help me grow closer to God. it gives me comfort. i know that my experiences are teaching me things. “All you are is God and you cannot hurt me, thank you for being my teacher.” ive started thinking of my emotions as indicators of a problem and to be joyous when i find things to release. much of this is credited to my mom and Louise Hay (her book you can heal your life is AMAZING- 10/10 recommendation)

lately, i’ve been working through old emotions. sadness about things that i thought i had completely healed from. i’ve learned that old things come up so you can let them go. and to be grateful during this process of letting go.

i’ve also learned that forgiveness is based on being willing to forgive. and i’ve learned that you can forgive and choose to not continue the relationship. in my mother’s words, “you (the person being forgiven) took it too far.” sometimes it’s too far to rekindle a relationship. and all that means is you learned what you needed from them.

i’m also working on staying present more. i have a very active imagination and have my whole life. i daydream constantly. while i enjoy these qualities and know that they make me, me, i want to spend more time being engaged in the real world. to do this, i’ll keep doing yoga and probably start journaling more. i bought a passion planner which also has goal settings and prompts and stuff so i will use that as well.

as my chalkboard says “be intentional”. everyday i’m trying to be more of myself. to get to know me. and to be kinder to myself and the world.

look on the bright side

gratitude is a deliberate choice. i’ll say it again, gratitude is a deliberate choice. you get to choose how you want to view situations. you get to choose how you want to talk about situations. you may not get to choose the situation. but you get to choose how you react to it.

i woke up this morning feeling very grateful and loved. i had ideas for rebranding and connecting my blog, twitter and instagram. i’ve been getting excited because i have more time to exercise, do yoga and do my hair. excited to sleep and get to recharge. i was feeling grateful for my family and my partner and overall feeling very happy. i had already done one of my workouts and some meditation.

then i had a thought of a situation that happened that made me feel unloved. it was time for me to follow a yoga class (one of the studios i thought about doing YTT at has free online classes right now), which i was also very grateful for. as i started the class i released the sad thoughts and started focusing more on my breath.

after the class was over i felt much better and went on to complete my morning routine. while i was doing it, anytime the sad thought would come back i would not give it any attention. i have so much to be grateful for and so many situations where i feel loved. why would i focus on the ones that i don’t?

i decided to focus my energy on being grateful. gratitude allows you to reflect on the good. there’s always something to be grateful for.

my message of the week for myself is take care. so the message of this post will be to take care of yourself by focusing on the good, investing in it and centering yourself in love and light. you got this!

i’m writing a book (maybe? yes? no?)

yoga is the one thing in my life that will always make me feel better. writing sometimes makes me feel better, but always helps me think through what i’m going through. last year i started writing a book, about heartbreak and healing. it’s a collection of poetry that looks at heartbreak from multiple lenses, all from the perspective of the individual experiencing the pain. the collection in and of itself is raw, it explores many emotions that are painful and complex. i’m a few days into editing and honestly i love it. i can’t wait to see how the collection grows, what changes i make and how publishing works. while life is forcing me to sit and be still, i will be using my time to create, meditate and expand my yoga practice. i pray i grow stronger mentally, physically and emotionally. and i hope the same for you.

please enjoy one of the pieces from the book:

for years i was searching for someone like you
for someone to love.
i wanted more than anything to find you.

and today i looked up and i realized that i was the person i was waiting for all along.

that the universe was right that everything i needed truly was within me.
and i’m so sorry it took me so long to see it. but so grateful i see it now.

because my love you are amazing.
you are beautiful on the inside.
your heart is big and kind.
you think before you speak. you are deliberate with your words and on the occasion you are not you reflect. you think critically about what happened and why and what you were supposed to learn.
you work to diminish your ego, so that lesson may be easier for you.
because of your sensitive spirit words hurt you. and people hurt you. but you allow yourself to feel the pain and try very hard to get over it. even when it’s hard.
you admit when you are wrong. no matter how embarrassed it makes you feel.
and it took you a while to learn to admit when you needed help, but you’re learning it.

you love unconditionally and you set firm expectations
the act of you loving is healing to yourself and to others
you give just to give, but you demand to be respected.

you work hard to protect yourself and those you love.
your anxiety makes it so that you are prepared for every scenario possible because you made a promise to yourself over 7 years ago and you still work EVERYDAY to keep it your dedication to yourself and your growth is unparalleled.

you are loyal and honest. you hold the people you love to the highest standards because you know they can do it. you support without pushing, for you understand that everyone is learning where they are and if you interfere, they may not learn as much as they could. and to you, learning is the most important thing.

you know when it’s time to go. you leave early and return to a world that you created for yourself. you nourish your body and your soul, on purpose.

you stay away from things and people that have hurt you. you want more than anything to protect yourself. your boundaries with yourself may not always be easy to adhere to, but you know it’s worth it.

my love you are the greatest blessing in my world. you are a blessing to the world. and i promise that know that i see that, i will always remember it.