slowing down to feel all the feels

as a child i was very in touch with my emotions. as i grew older, i wanted to become more detached from them, but they would still always show up. just in ways that weren’t fun- like blowing up over “nothing”. i internalized a lot of emotions because they were big and i didn’t know how to deal with them.

quarantining (which is what i just have decided to continue calling our “new normal” of leaving the house minimally and not coming in close contact with others) has given me a lot of time to slow down and feel all the feels.

and y’all, it is not fun. people talk about being single as this liberating period of time, where you really discover who you are. and while i do believe this is true, it has proven to be quite a challenge to sit with my big emotions and actually sort through them. pinpointing my needs. figuring out ways to meet them. i would say dating myself is one of the most uncomfortable periods of my life, if not the most.

i constantly find myself wondering, “God when will this subside?” Like when do i get to the point where it’s a passive discomfort, not this active pain. and my answer to myself is always something like “girl i don’t know but i sure hope it comes.”

and i guess that’s what hope is right. the faith that something better will come. and that one day, it’ll be a little less difficult. so please remember, it’s okay to feel big emotions.

may 1st

Today marks the beginning of mental health awareness month. this is an issue i’m really passionate about, for it revolves deeply around how we can nurture and love ourselves through our issues. today, i want to talk about one thing i’ve been doing to take care of myself.

my mom told me that i often say i want one thing and do the complete opposite. but i realized it’s not that what i’m doing isn’t what i want to do- it’s that i haven’t been honest verbally about what i want. it’s that i’ve been so scared that if it wouldn’t work out i didn’t even want to mention what i wanted.

but that got me no where. you have to say what you want. and you have to do what you want. at the end of the day, you’re living life to be happy. do the things that make you happy.


try to be brave and take care of yourself. your thoughts and feelings are always valid.