energy – mayah's site

look on the bright side

gratitude is a deliberate choice. i’ll say it again, gratitude is a deliberate choice. you get to choose how you want to view situations. you get to choose how you want to talk about situations. you may not get to choose the situation. but you get to choose how you react to it.

i woke up this morning feeling very grateful and loved. i had ideas for rebranding and connecting my blog, twitter and instagram. i’ve been getting excited because i have more time to exercise, do yoga and do my hair. excited to sleep and get to recharge. i was feeling grateful for my family and my partner and overall feeling very happy. i had already done one of my workouts and some meditation.

then i had a thought of a situation that happened that made me feel unloved. it was time for me to follow a yoga class (one of the studios i thought about doing YTT at has free online classes right now), which i was also very grateful for. as i started the class i released the sad thoughts and started focusing more on my breath.

after the class was over i felt much better and went on to complete my morning routine. while i was doing it, anytime the sad thought would come back i would not give it any attention. i have so much to be grateful for and so many situations where i feel loved. why would i focus on the ones that i don’t?

i decided to focus my energy on being grateful. gratitude allows you to reflect on the good. there’s always something to be grateful for.

my message of the week for myself is take care. so the message of this post will be to take care of yourself by focusing on the good, investing in it and centering yourself in love and light. you got this!

maximize opportunities

our world has changed.

so what do we do know?

at first it can seem overwhelming to be at home, have more time to ponder and be unsure of what is going on in the world. here are some tips that i’ve used to create a smooth transition to this new life.

• clean your space- i started staying at home last Thursday and have thus far left the house twice (three times if you include that i got things from the store, brought them home and then went back out to the store). the first thing i did was clean. i disinfected and washed everything. it made me feel better and left my home a lot cleaner. everyday i have time scheduled in to clean so it’s not overwhelming. yesterday i cleaned the kitchen. today i cleaned my closets. tomorrow i’ll organize the kitchen and my desk. a little cleaning each day has made me feel so much better
• create a routine- these last few days i have strictly done no work and just taken time for myself. now that i’m ready to start working, i need a plan. i used the time block method so i have a calendar stating what i will do at what time. i know i thrive on schedules and want to maximize my time.
• do what makes me happy- yoga, eating good food, meditation, doing my hair and interactions with my loved ones make me happy. so i have carved out time for my favorite things within my schedule. a yoga studio i was thinking about doing YTT (yoga teacher training) at is currently offering free classes via YouTube. I did one today, as well as my own personal practice and it felt so good!
• invest in a passion- i’ve decided that i’m going to publish my poetry book i started last year during this time. i also have been wanting to rebrand myself (connecting my blog more to IG and possibly expanding into YouTube). so i’ll be working on content creation!
• healthy habits- “I’m only going to eat 1 cookie today.” and then you actually only eat one cookie. take this time to create healthy habits- working out, drinking at least 64 ounces of water a day, or even doing yoga. these are things people say they want to do, but claim they don’t have time. i get it- i never work out either. but i’ve decided i have no reason to not work out and will be doing so. struggling with your natural hair? take this time to learn it! check out my blog post (https://lovemayah.com/2019/08/29/my-hair-routine/) for my hair care regimen!
• creating firm boundaries- mostly with yourself and others. the consumption of fake news is at an all time high. choosing to not engage may be for the best. other boundaries can be harder but more worthwhile- choosing to eat 1 cookie instead of 3 is a good example.
• get some sleep- last but not least! get some sleep! taking care of your body is so so important! this is a time to rest and recharge! take advantage of it!

i’m writing a book (maybe? yes? no?)

yoga is the one thing in my life that will always make me feel better. writing sometimes makes me feel better, but always helps me think through what i’m going through. last year i started writing a book, about heartbreak and healing. it’s a collection of poetry that looks at heartbreak from multiple lenses, all from the perspective of the individual experiencing the pain. the collection in and of itself is raw, it explores many emotions that are painful and complex. i’m a few days into editing and honestly i love it. i can’t wait to see how the collection grows, what changes i make and how publishing works. while life is forcing me to sit and be still, i will be using my time to create, meditate and expand my yoga practice. i pray i grow stronger mentally, physically and emotionally. and i hope the same for you.

please enjoy one of the pieces from the book:

for years i was searching for someone like you
for someone to love.
i wanted more than anything to find you.

and today i looked up and i realized that i was the person i was waiting for all along.

that the universe was right that everything i needed truly was within me.
and i’m so sorry it took me so long to see it. but so grateful i see it now.

because my love you are amazing.
you are beautiful on the inside.
your heart is big and kind.
you think before you speak. you are deliberate with your words and on the occasion you are not you reflect. you think critically about what happened and why and what you were supposed to learn.
you work to diminish your ego, so that lesson may be easier for you.
because of your sensitive spirit words hurt you. and people hurt you. but you allow yourself to feel the pain and try very hard to get over it. even when it’s hard.
you admit when you are wrong. no matter how embarrassed it makes you feel.
and it took you a while to learn to admit when you needed help, but you’re learning it.

you love unconditionally and you set firm expectations
the act of you loving is healing to yourself and to others
you give just to give, but you demand to be respected.

you work hard to protect yourself and those you love.
your anxiety makes it so that you are prepared for every scenario possible because you made a promise to yourself over 7 years ago and you still work EVERYDAY to keep it your dedication to yourself and your growth is unparalleled.

you are loyal and honest. you hold the people you love to the highest standards because you know they can do it. you support without pushing, for you understand that everyone is learning where they are and if you interfere, they may not learn as much as they could. and to you, learning is the most important thing.

you know when it’s time to go. you leave early and return to a world that you created for yourself. you nourish your body and your soul, on purpose.

you stay away from things and people that have hurt you. you want more than anything to protect yourself. your boundaries with yourself may not always be easy to adhere to, but you know it’s worth it.

my love you are the greatest blessing in my world. you are a blessing to the world. and i promise that know that i see that, i will always remember it.

new space

I wrote the following to publish in October but never published it-

in this new space, i’ve been preparing for the future and all the good it’s going to bring me. i’ve been working on taking care of myself, doing my homework, and dedicating my limited time to things that make me happy. the last two weeks i’ve been super busy and after Monday, my life is going to slow down and I’m excited. i want to enjoy this new space. in this new space, i’m alone most of the time. i pretty much get up, get ready for work, work, go to class, do homework and then go home. i’ve had days where i haven’t talked to one person. it’s almost like isolation. i was talking to my cousin, cause she worked her way through school and she was basically like you have to make time to take care of yourself and hang out with people. i knew i would have to do to this, but it’s harder than i expected. like i studied (not alone) and was talking and laughing and i after was like mayah you were not nearly as productive as you are alone. it’s easy to be alone. i don’t disappoint myself. I’ve been working on being ore compassionate, so when I make mistakes, I know that I’m trying my best forreal. it’s so different for me to be alone. i used to never fr be alone, or if i was it was for a very short period of time and i would find someone to hang out with. and when i had roommate(s), i saw someone everyday. it’s different but i’m getting used to it. and i will say i love my new space.

so what are my goals? so i did a visualization activity with my chapter and it had to be personal. and what i really want is to make a best friend. like a really good friend. to do more yoga. to increase my therapeutic resources and tactics to reduce my anxiety. to be happier and figure out more of what makes me happy.

i keep the activity i did with my chapter in my planner. it shows exactly what i wanted at that time. it’s just a reminder that as i grow, i want to reflect on what i have gained. therapy was a great resource for me. it was a physical step of me saying i needed help. but i also used light therapy as well. light therapy is essentially energy work, like reiki or (energy) healing sessions. these have helped me a lot! this, along with meditations and yoga have helped me embrace my alone time. as i prepare to move, i know that i will be my own best friend, understanding that my alone time is crucial for my development. i look back and reflect on how bad i wanted to learn to love myself, but how i truly didn’t know how. for me it took self- discipline.

i write notes to myself to remind myself of what is important. one of the notes i have in my planner is “you’re doing the best you can and you did the best you could at that time and you will grow to do better. be patient, you’re growing.” when i saw this while flipping through my planner last week i thought “aww mayah that’s so nice you’re so nice to yourself”. and honestly, that’s the energy i’m going to keep- i deserve to be nice to myself. i deserve to be loved. by others but first and foremost, by mayah.

if you so feel compelled, check out the hyperlinks. the reiki one is to my mom’s site and the healing one is to eve’s site. they’re both amazing and have helped me tremendously throughout my journey. and while i’m here shouting out people, shoutout to monique (just cause she’s great and very helpful). love you all.

where i am

it’s been too long. within this time i’ve been healing, learning to love myself and others and working everyday to create a peaceful life for me. i’ve permanently ended a relationship i thought would last lifetimes and created new ones that i am confident will serve me as long as i need.

so i want to share three gems, i’ve learned while being in Cuba and being home.

trust your body- this is important because it is your guide. take the time you need to care for yourself. while in cuba i struggled a lot with food and i’ve learned that your body will tell you what you need and use what you have to survive. your body has your best interest in heart. take care of it. that means sleeping well, eating well, and doing physical and mental activity that heals you. when you take care of yourself you feel so much better. but this requires effort and planning and adaptability. it’s an ongoing process in which you have to have a lot of patience- some days may be hard but the journey is so worth it.
reflection instead of critiquing- sometimes you’ll look and you may have wanted to do differently. but it is important to make sure that you are reflection to heal not to hurt. sometimes i have a habit of getting “down” on myself and acting like i am this horrible person when i make a mistake. but that is not the goal of reflection. the goal is to say this is where i am and this is what i want- how can i get there? kind words and thoughts towards yourself can go a long way.
it’s okay to need help- i have resented asking for help for a while now. it’s because the intentions of others may not be pure enough for my liking. but surround yourself with those whose intentions are pure. who actually want you to succeed. and in those spaces you can ask for help. allow yourself to be vulnerable, but only after you feel comfortable. again, allow your body and spirit to guide you. you know what feels right.

i’ll write more about cuba and what i learned later, but for now, just know living there changed my life.