Friendships are constantly evolving. This happens mostly due to the fact that you are on a journey of self discovery, especially during your college years. The relationships that you had in high school are going to change once you get in college. I’ve been close with a couple people that went to college and was amazed at how much the relationship changed. It is not like any love was lost, it was just different. One major thing is communication. In high school, even if you go to different schools, your schedules are basically the same, you’re in class the bulk of the day then you get out. Whether you go to practice or have some sort of meeting or rehearsal, your schedule is pretty much set. As I enter into the college world, one thing I’m really going to keep in mind is schedules. Everyone has different schedules, so it might not be as easy to talk to someone who you always talked to when you were still in high school. Like I said friendships evolve. Long distance really tests how much you’re willing to put into the relationship. It definitely takes a lot more time and effort to communicate effectively. But remember you’re in school for a reason- to get an education. You need to be able to maintain your grades and relationships. And if things aren’t making you happy, you need to be the one to make the change. You deserve to have fun and healthy relationships, whether it’s just a friendship or a romantic relationship. Just keep in mind that a long distance doesn’t mean the friendship is over, all it means is it has changed.
No one gets in relationships to break up. When you enter a relationship your goal should be to be with that person. I’m not saying that you should be thinking marriage right off the bat but after a while (which is relative to the situation), it’s normal to start thinking about whether you would want to be with that person for life. Life is constantly changing and sometimes (sadly) relationships have to end. But there a signs to know when your relationship is coming to an end. Below are three major signs that your relationship is coming to an end.
- Lack of communication
Communicating in a relationship is like eating healthy foods- it’s not “mandatory” but it is key to a healthy lifestyle/relationship. Without proper communication there will be unresolved issues, which can turn into unresolved recurring issues (which I’ll talk about). Bad communication allows arguments to happen. If you can communicate properly and work out your issues, then your relationship will be healthier. You always have to remember that effort works both ways. If the person doesn’t seem to want to work on communicating, that is a red flag that this relationship might not be right for you. You deserve someone who wants to make things work- so if they’re not it’s time for you to reevaluate the relationship.
Distance is good for relationships. It allows you to be your own individual people and keeps you from “losing” yourself by giving too much in a relationship. But at a certain point distance is toxic. I’m referring to the fact that relationships thrive on interaction. While being apart is good, little to no interaction may leave you feeling like you’re single while you’re really in a relationship. If you get to the point where you’re feeling like you never see them or they’re not making time for you consistently, it may be a sign that they don’t want the relationship anymore.
- Unresolved reoccurring issues
All relationships have issues. But if it seems that there is truly a central issue, you have to really think about the five w’s and h:
who- who is affected?
why- why does this keep happening?
what- what can we do to solve this?
where- where does this problem start?
when- when is enough enough?
how- how does this problem keep happening?
These are good questions to use to really evaluate what is going on in your relationship. Some reoccurring issues can be solved but if it seems as if you’re always arguing over the same thing, it may be because you both want different things.
Relationships end for a variety of different reasons and you have to understand that this is all happening for a reason. And that everything is in divine order. Eventually you’ll understand why the relationship ended and be content. Time heals all.