Tag Archives: break-ups

true friends 

this school year has had its ups and downs, but that’s a subject for another post. right now I want to talk about friends. this year I’ve made new friends and lost some along the way. making and losing friends is a part of life, but I want to spend a moment on how I’ve learned to cope with the end of friendships. 

  1. Acknowledge that it hurts- break ups are hard, whether it was a romantic relationship or just a friendship. It’s hard. These things happen for a reason. remember the good times and accept what has happened. relationships end for a reason and the best thing to remember is why the break up happened. reiterating that makes it so much easier to move on. 
  2. Finding new outlets- friendships take up more time than you’d expect. use that new time to find things that you like to do. this will really help you heal too.
  3. Let it out- sometimes you need to let the emotions out. I normally cry and write. Both of the things help me sort through my feelings and I always end up feeling better. 

I hope this little list makes a difference. You deserve healthiness and happiness in all elements of your life and I hope you get them! 

how to know your relationship is over

No one gets in relationships to break up. When you enter a relationship your goal should be to be with that person. I’m not saying that you should be thinking marriage right off the bat but after a while (which is relative to the situation), it’s normal to start thinking about whether you would want to be with that person for life. Life is constantly changing and sometimes (sadly) relationships have to end. But there a signs to know when your relationship is coming to an end. Below are three major signs that your relationship is coming to an end.

  • Lack of communication

Communicating in a relationship is like eating healthy foods- it’s not “mandatory” but it is key to a healthy lifestyle/relationship. Without proper communication there will be unresolved issues, which can turn into unresolved recurring issues (which I’ll talk about). Bad communication allows arguments to happen. If you can communicate properly and work out your issues, then your relationship will be healthier. You always have to remember that effort works both ways. If the person doesn’t seem to want to work on communicating, that is a red flag that this relationship might not be right for you. You deserve someone who wants to make things work- so if they’re not it’s time for you to reevaluate the relationship.

  • Distance

Distance is good for relationships. It allows you to be your own individual people and keeps you from “losing” yourself by giving too much in a relationship. But at a certain point distance is toxic. I’m referring to the fact that relationships thrive on interaction. While being apart is good, little to no interaction may leave you feeling like you’re single while you’re really in a relationship. If you get to the point where you’re feeling like you never see them or they’re not making time for you consistently, it may be a sign that they don’t want the relationship anymore.

  • Unresolved reoccurring issues

All relationships have issues. But if it seems that there is truly a central issue, you have to really think about the five w’s and h:

who- who is affected?

why- why does this keep happening?

what- what can we do to solve this?

where- where does this problem start?

when- when is enough enough?

how- how does this problem keep happening?

These are good questions to use to really evaluate what is going on in your relationship. Some reoccurring issues can be solved but if it seems as if you’re always arguing over the same thing, it may be because you both want different things.

Relationships end for a variety of different reasons and you have to understand that this is all happening for a reason. And that everything is in divine order. Eventually you’ll understand why the relationship ended and be content. Time heals all.

Pain

The title of this blog just sounds depressing but that’s not the point of this. This is a post to let everyone know that they are not alone. The pain of a breakup can really hurt, and I’m currently going through that. Today marks the longest I haven’t talked to my ex since I met him. Its a milestone for me because I’m stepping into new territory. Part of me is resistant to keep moving forward because it’s going to be different. As I’ve always said change is inevitable but that doesn’t mean it’s easy (yet it’s as easy as you want it to be). I’ve decided that the transition for me will be quick and painless, so I’m just trying to stay positive and know that as I create the list of my ideal relationship and the ideal man for me (yes I said man). When I went to church on Easter, for the first time since last September (it was right after me and my ex seperated for the first time), I felt at home. It was a wonderful sermon and I really enjoyed myself. I’m definitely going to start going more. But at church the Reverend was basically talking about how with God we can get through rough times and that life gets easier when you surrender to God and go at God’s speed, while you are letting go of the past and moving forward. The message really spoke to me and I know that it’s time to move on. It’s going to be just fine and you’ll be just fine too. I know that it might seem hard and you might cry, but let yourself cry. Let crying wash away the pain. I truly am blessed to have the friends that I have because they truly care about me. Just ask for discernment and be within the essence of truth, it will lead you to find your true friends too. Someone cares about you. Someone loves you. You are surrounded by love and light. It’s all going to be just fine.