#blacklivesmatter – mayah's site

what is love? it’s an action and a tool for healing and social justice

if you would have asked me five years ago, i would have probably told you love is a feeling. you know love is there because you can feel it.

if you asked me today, i would have a much longer, complex response. hence, this post.

i want to start off with how i feel about love. i love love. i am learning how to love myself, how to love others and (most importantly) how to allow myself to receive love. to be honest, i had to make a choice- either to let the hardships i’ve encountered make me more or less open to love. with daily effort and intention, i am opening myself to receiving unconditional love from others. it’s a process.

okay so what is love?

bell hooks, in her novel All About Love, which you can find a free pdf of here (under resources), gives a defintion of love that when i read it, it literally changed my world.

so at this point, i was like alright, bet. love is an action. i have to do actionable things to love myself and others.

i started paying more attention to actions. (i eventually am now at the point, where i pay attention to how people’s actions make me feel and value that feeling as an indicator of what i should do next (most times LOL, it’s a process)).

i’m studying right now to be a yoga teacher, and as part of the training (as many courses do) we have spent a lot of time on yogic philosophy, much of which is rooted in eastern cultures (including religion). so we reviewed the 4 Aspects of True Love, which is given to us from Buddhism. (these are my summaries from my notes below)

maitri kindness: through being present and paying attention, learning how to love someone and doing it
karuna compassion: understanding the suffering of others and actively finding ways to alleviate their burdens (and actually alleviating them)
mudita joy: love is only love if it includes joy and brings happiness. with joy, love grows stronger.
upeksha freedom: includes external freedom, to have time/space, and internal freedom, space to be yoruself. practices must be implemented to create the sensation of freedom.

first, you must learn to love yourself like this. then others.

true love (which mind you, including familial and platonic relationships, as well as partnerships) requires action. it requires doing it right.

reading this, changed everything again. it was like i finally had a blueprint. i could combine the idea that love is an action and figure out in which ways i could be actionable.

this also made me think a lot about love languages. if you’re not familiar, gary chapman came up with this quiz, to see which of the five love languages you prefer: gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, or acts of service. i read recently online, that the best thing to do with these love languages, is to figure out WHEN and HOW to meet all of them. i may have scored highest for gifts (which i LOVE, to me they’re a representation of thought and action), but there are times when i need actions that fall under acts of service. learning how to support others in the way that they want to be supported, falls under karuna.

if i had to give you a short answer, love is a commitment to supportings oneself (first and foremost) and others. it takes time to learn how to love yourself. how i loved myself before quarantine looked a LOT different than during quarantine. i’m sure that as i grow older, it will change. my commitment to myself will stay the safe. checkins with myself will help me learn how to love myself the most.

as far as loving others, that changes as well. depending on where they are in life. i feel that checkins and honest discussions with your loved ones (may they be a family member, partner, friend, etc) about ways that you can be supportive are helping.

so what does this have to do with social justice? hate, which is the opposite of love, is hurtful. therefore the person that has received hate, has to heal. through loving yourself, you can find healing for you.

“love heals no matter what has happened in our past, when we open our hearts to love again, live as if born again, not forgetting the past but seeing in a new way, we go forward with the fresh insight- that the past can no longer hurt us. mindful remembering let’s us put the broken bits and pieces of our hearts together again that is the way healing begins.”- bell hooks

bell hooks, in her novel, talks a lot about creating a beloved community, where everyone is being loved by one another and giving love. this space is successful. this place, in my opinion, is the goal of social justice work. to create a space where everyones needs are met (also known as equity).

i’ll let you with one last quote, from bell hooks-

the moment we choose to love we begin to move against oppression, domination. the moment we choose to love, we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others.
bell hooks, in love as the practice of freedom.

love as the practice of freedom

#blacklivesmatter pt.2

Lately I’ve been a pretty big news follower. Pretty much all I do on my phone besides text is read articles, especially after the recent shootings. All of the protests are people saying enough is enough. Something has to change and this is how. There are a few things I’d like to discuss first though.

Though this is a time of reflection, it is a time to be smart. Social change comes through policy reform. The best way to get policy reform is economically. People listen when you mess with their money. Be careful about who and where you’re shopping and giving your money to. Reform needs to happen and economics play a huge role. Some may say that boycotting is silly. I just view it as this could be a very big deal, or a very small deal. I’d rather participate and hope it sparks change, then give up before I even try.
Though this is a time of mourning over lost lives, it is a time to celebrate. I love watching Women’s gymnastics for the Olympics. The team this year includes Gabby Douglass (who I just love) and Simone Biles. They are both extremely talented young women whose talents will open more doors for young African-American girls. Laurie Hernandez, a young Latina woman, will be joining them also. I’m happy that there is representation for young girls of color for this year’s Olympics. Representation matters.
Though this is a time of togetherness, it is a time to act. Protests (non-violent) matter. There was a protest in my city today. Though I was unable to attend sadly, I’m proud of Ramoni, one of the leaders of the protest. Actions speak louder than words. Standing up for what you believe in matters. The picture below is from one of the protests in Baton Rouge. I like this picture because you can see how calm she is, like she’s so firm in her beliefs she’s calm. Plus it reiterates that this campaign is not meant to be harmful. It is just to fight for what is right.
Though this is a time for contemplation, it is a time to vote. Voting for this election is more important than ever. One of the canidates is running a campaign based off of hatred and we have to join together to support what is right. No matter your view on Hillary Clinton, if she wins the nomination she’s our chance. I’ve seen many things on twitter about writing Bernie Sanders in. Though this may seem like a good idea, it is just going to split the Democratic vote, allowing other candidates to win. Remember that a campaign built on hate is built off of lies and stereotypes. Also stay away from twitter trolls.
Though this is a time for revolution, it is a time for communication. Not everyone shares the same beliefs. But it is important to be clear with your beliefs. A common “come back” saying for #blacklivesmatter is #alllivesmater. No one said all lives didn’t matter. All lives do matter. That’s why it is important to emphasize that the lives of African-Americans matter because the system doesn’t recognize that they do. It is sad to say that this movement seems to be turning into something that is used to recognized lives lost. It is about the lives being important before they are gone. It is important to realize that there are things we can do to try to break the cycle. That is why we protest. That is why we boycott. Because trying is eventually going to lead to change.

Change is going to come. Just wait on it.

Honor’s College

On Thursday the nineteenth, my mother and I went to Michigan State University’s Honor’s College Invitational. We both know that if I do end up at a public university, I want to go to an honor’s college, mostly because of the smaller class sizes (especially since my school currently is around 400 students grades 8-12). The experience was very positive and I was very pleased. The meeting was in the Mosaic Center inside of the Union. For those of you that don’t know a mosaic is a picture or pattern that comes from putting a variety of different types of hard materials together. It’s the perfect name for MSU’s Multi-cultural Center. I loved it. Not only was it inviting, but it was beautiful. It was composed of two large glass squares. Inside of the squares there were cubes that represented different societal issues, lot of them pertaining to race, gender, sexual-orientation, and sex. They had a question bin, where they invited you to talk about issues that are important to you that you want to talk about. After just completing a research report on how African-American women are depicted in media, that’s what I wanted to talk about. I think MSU did a great job on their multi-cultural center and that it represents the university making changes to be more accepting to everyone. Attached I have pictures of the center (it’s actually a panorama), the share your voice box and my favorite issue mentioned, pertaining to the #blacklivesmatter movement.