Tag Archives: black yogi

taking breaks to reset

hi y’all. i haven’t blogged in forever. overall i would say i’m doing alright. my grad school program is on a gap smester so i’ve been job hunting like crazy to try to find something. i told my mom i feel like i’m thoriwng paint at a wall and waiting to see what sticks. and that eventually something will stick soon.

i have been journaling a LOT. i have one i started last july and it’s well over seventy pages now. i just write when i feel like it. it’s really become my way to think and process things. this is something i definetely still do with other people about actionable items (lol) but not for emotions. i’ve really been “slowing down to feel all the feels”.

i still go for walks and can’t wait for it to get warm again. i’m prayerful that i’ll be able to get the vaccine soon. i’m in group 1C cause of my asthma but this process has been so slow.

i also wanted to show a little something i’ve been working on- a virtual yoga studio!

you can check out my IG for updates. basically i’m currently going to offer three classes a week (two yin and the one breathwork and meditation). i’ll also be available for privates.

if you’re interested in booking, head over to this link which is my ribbon page. i will offer on demand classes as well, in my library on ribbon too. my ring light should be here tomorrow so then i’ll get to recording content!

thanks so much for your support in advance. namaste!

just a lil sunshine

while the big storm rolled past, destroying all of what was left, a month ago, the gap in my chest was overwhelming. i was scared. tired. anxious and honestly confused.

after the storm hit, things settled. it still consistenly rained. there was little sun, mostly partly cloudy.

thrice, since the big storm has hit, i’ve felt the sun. the first time, i wrote in a note to myself “yesterday was the first day i have felt happiness since…” i felt geniunely good. and had geniunely laughed. it was amazing.

the second time i felt the sun, i was leading a private yoga class. it was warm and i was excited. i was determined to let the sunshine.

today, was the third time. i’ve been getting up and walking about three miles and doing meditation and yoga for the past five days. and today, after eating breakfast and showering, i felt the sunshine.

the sunshine reminds me that emotions are fleting and to continue embracing the rain. because one cannot exist without the other, not in a balanced state at least.

i’ve been learning to sit with my grief. while walking, i’ve started listening to alex elle’s “hey girl” podcast. one that really shifted my perspective was her talk with jamila reddy, about greeting grief at the door.

after the storm, i spent a couple weeks just wishing the storm would’ve never happened. living in this interesting state of midn where i was in denial that the storm had happened, because the damage was so bad. it felt like i was living in a nightmare, just waiting and waiting to wake up.

after the third week, i had a moment where i was like “mayah, this is reality.” and being like i need to do what’s best for me to heal and clean up this mess.

now, four weeks later, i’ve felt the sunshine and i know that with due time, i will keep feeling the sunshine.

life after loss is complicated. and the best thing i can truly be patient with myself, knowing that i am trying. i’m learning that it’s okay to not be okay. to go with the ebbs and flows of emotions while knowing that they just are ebbs and flows and that the pain will pass.

so to wherever you are in your clean up, just please know that there will be sunshine. eventually.

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