on february 1st, i ventured out to by this snak epalnt. it was to help my asthma. i tended to it a lot while being alone in quarantine. but when i got home and got my dog hope, i took breese (my plant) to my grandparents. i didn’t want hope to eat her and i didn’t want her to be eaten.
snake plants are pretty much known for not being killable. they are resilient. they bounce back. two weeks ago she was thriving. and now her old leaves are vanishing, while new ones are coming.
my initial thought was my plant is dying. i killed my plant. but in reality, i may or may not have.
i guesss what was the most upsettting was the intial feeling of not doing enough. but i did. could i have done more/maybe? but for where i was, i did exactly enough. she was watered. she was feed with soil.
i’ve been really trying to practice nonattachement. but i’ve struggled with pouring into something and not getting the result i wanted?
i guess the following questions i have are:
wsas it not worth it if she doesn’t survive? was her survival all that made it worth it? am i not able to carry on if she dies? (like i know i can get another plant). what would make me want to say it’s not woth it if i didn’t get the resutl i wanted.
like she pruified the air. she kept me safe and clean. and i am so grateful.
it’s just the idea of having to let go of something else honestly. to know i put time and effort into one other thing that might not survive.
but it really still leaves the question, is the survival of the plant all that makes it worth it? is it not the lessons? is it not the learning of myself?
so, i’m going to start over. i will pull the dead leaves, let her get a ton of sunlight (which snake plants don’t need much of but i want to give her some extra love. and love her lots for the next few weeks. whether she lives or not, i know i learned a lot from being her plant mama.
gratitude is a deliberate choice. i’ll say it again, gratitude is a deliberate choice. you get to choose how you want to view situations. you get to choose how you want to talk about situations. you may not get to choose the situation. but you get to choose how you react to it.
i woke up this morning feeling very grateful and loved. i had ideas for rebranding and connecting my blog, twitter and instagram. i’ve been getting excited because i have more time to exercise, do yoga and do my hair. excited to sleep and get to recharge. i was feeling grateful for my family and my partner and overall feeling very happy. i had already done one of my workouts and some meditation.
then i had a thought of a situation that happened that made me feel unloved. it was time for me to follow a yoga class (one of the studios i thought about doing YTT at has free online classes right now), which i was also very grateful for. as i started the class i released the sad thoughts and started focusing more on my breath.
after the class was over i felt much better and went on to complete my morning routine. while i was doing it, anytime the sad thought would come back i would not give it any attention. i have so much to be grateful for and so many situations where i feel loved. why would i focus on the ones that i don’t?
i decided to focus my energy on being grateful. gratitude allows you to reflect on the good. there’s always something to be grateful for.
my message of the week for myself is take care. so the message of this post will be to take care of yourself by focusing on the good, investing in it and centering yourself in love and light. you got this!
at first it can seem overwhelming to be at home, have more time to ponder and be unsure of what is going on in the world. here are some tips that i’ve used to create a smooth transition to this new life.
• clean your space- i started staying at home last Thursday and have thus far left the house twice (three times if you include that i got things from the store, brought them home and then went back out to the store). the first thing i did was clean. i disinfected and washed everything. it made me feel better and left my home a lot cleaner. everyday i have time scheduled in to clean so it’s not overwhelming. yesterday i cleaned the kitchen. today i cleaned my closets. tomorrow i’ll organize the kitchen and my desk. a little cleaning each day has made me feel so much better • create a routine- these last few days i have strictly done no work and just taken time for myself. now that i’m ready to start working, i need a plan. i used the time block method so i have a calendar stating what i will do at what time. i know i thrive on schedules and want to maximize my time. • do what makes me happy- yoga, eating good food, meditation, doing my hair and interactions with my loved ones make me happy. so i have carved out time for my favorite things within my schedule. a yoga studio i was thinking about doing YTT (yoga teacher training) at is currently offering free classes via YouTube. I did one today, as well as my own personal practice and it felt so good! • invest in a passion- i’ve decided that i’m going to publish my poetry book i started last year during this time. i also have been wanting to rebrand myself (connecting my blog more to IG and possibly expanding into YouTube). so i’ll be working on content creation! • healthy habits- “I’m only going to eat 1 cookie today.” and then you actually only eat one cookie. take this time to create healthy habits- working out, drinking at least 64 ounces of water a day, or even doing yoga. these are things people say they want to do, but claim they don’t have time. i get it- i never work out either. but i’ve decided i have no reason to not work out and will be doing so. struggling with your natural hair? take this time to learn it! check out my blog post (https://lovemayah.com/2019/08/29/my-hair-routine/) for my hair care regimen! • creating firm boundaries- mostly with yourself and others. the consumption of fake news is at an all time high. choosing to not engage may be for the best. other boundaries can be harder but more worthwhile- choosing to eat 1 cookie instead of 3 is a good example. • get some sleep- last but not least! get some sleep! taking care of your body is so so important! this is a time to rest and recharge! take advantage of it!
protective styles help your hair grow because they help you retain moisture and reduce manipulation. the biggest question is: how do i choose the right one? for me, I started with braids because I knew braids worked for my hair. as a little girl, I wore braids all the time and it grew my hair out. I always only used my natural hair, so i didn’t consider adding weave to my hair. while i do think weaves are beneficial, it’s just not for me. so I used to braid my hair often, until one of my friends twisted my hair. I barely shed at all and my hair lasted very well. Since then, twists have been my go to protective style. Here are some examples of how I do my hair!
These two pictures are my current hair style! I did three french braids after washing and deep conditioning. I then pinned them up and made it into a halo braid. I’m currently on day 2, and my hair is looking great!
This was my style last week! I washed, deep conditioned then flat twisted my hair. For work, I pinned the flat twists up, into a halo twist.
These last three are results from a flat twist out as well. I always flat twist to make sure my roots are moisturized and catch the curl.
I’ve found that picking a protective style that looks like your natural curl pattern makes the style last longer! I would say if your pattern is looser, try braids and if it’s tighter do twists!
i hope all is well. i’ve been taking some time out to really continue on my growing process. one thing i’ve done lately is taken time to heal. a few weeks ago, i saw a post about how people often don’t take time to heal, but just keep going. so a lot of old stuff has come up and i’ve been able to heal, through releasing, reiki (thanks mommy!) and yoga. this is one of the consequences of mercury being in retrograde; old things will be brought up. mercury being in retrograde used to be something that I saw as annoying; i would be upset that my communication wasn’t going well or that my phone was bugging. as i’ve gotten older, i’ve realized the beauty in taking a break and healing. changing how i communicate, to be more thorough is beneficial not annoying. healing and crying from past wounds is beneficial, not annoying. i feel like when i go on twitter a lot of people are acting as if mercury being in retrograde is the worst, but it’s actually the opposite. Open your heart to change and growth and allow mercury being in retrograde to heal you and help you grow. Meditate more, take more time for you, and have a little more patience. and remember, all is well.