within these past couple months i’ve been working on building a stronger relationship with myself. as with all relationships, this has taken a lot of time, consistency and effort.
yesterday i finished day 40 of 40 of walking at least three miles and day 11 of 11 of meditating twice daily (30 min each). Cultivating specific time for myself was a conscious decision. I chose myself of over things. I gave myself the time that I needed to just be. I gave myself permission to feel my feelings. to explore, let grief and whatever other emotions wash over me.
i have anxiety, so often it was really difficult for me to trust my emotions. i would be upset about “small” things. i would panic over situations where i later felt i shouldn’t have. one thing i really learned was that while feelings aren’t facts, they do have a purpose. i’ve been using the questions “What can I learn about myself from this feeling? What is it telling me I care about? What is it telling me I need? What can I do today to make space for all of my emotions?” while my feelings aren’t facts, they are messages. so feeling them and searching for deeper meaning has brought me closer to myself.
making promises to myself and keeping them has been something i’ve always struggled with. i would do things like say i’m going to bed early and not. or say i’m not going to work late, and still work late. i’ve been working on setting firmer, yet flexible boundaries with myself. last night, i said i was going to bed at 10, and i was in the bed by 10:05. i think things like that will not only help me feel better (more sleep lol) but let me know that i can make promises and come through, for myself, like i do for others.
just like how i’ve worked to train my dog to do things, i’ve had to work with myself to create habits that are long lasting.
i saw something recently that basically said how you spend your days is in fact how you spend your life. i want to spend my life doing things that i love. and that starts with intentional actions.
so cheers to myself. i’m currently trying to figure out what i’ll be doing next LOL!