Life is truly about expecting who and what you are and accepting others for what they are. Often I feel like we share who we are, in efforts to see if others will accept us. In reality, the journey of life is about getting to know yourself, growing and accepting your being. Understand that your presence is essential, or else you would not be here right now in this moment. I was told recently that you are you own biggest supporter, yet you are your biggest doubter. And the biggest battle, is within yourself. This is a life long journey- loving yourself and takes consistent effort. What I’ve decided to start with is the little things. Start by rewarding yourself by taking me time. Do things that bring you joy. I painted yesterday for the first time in a while, and I’m blogging again. You’re worth celebrating, on your good and bad days.
Remember you were created this way. Embrace it.
In my yoga class today, we discussed the importance of yin yoga. And my instructor was explaining that yin yoga, since it is a slower practice, forces you to go within yourself. Last year, I really found that yin helped me heal a lot, but I think it’s because I needed to start focusing on myself more. I needed to start to understand that the feeling of love and happiness that I desire is within myself. And that I have to be the one that loves me. I mentioned in another blog that I was transitioning out of a relationship that meant a lot to me. One of my fears about doing so, was that since this relationship was with someone who knew me so well, that if it didn’t work out, was anyone else going to love me? I recently have gotten to a point where I realized that I am enough. It is enough that I love me. Looking to others for so long has left me unhappy. But when I’m doing yoga, or sitting in silence, or meditating, that’s when I feel whole. I feel whole when I’m balanced, which only I can do for myself. Around this time last year, I had a life changing conversation with God; I was upset because I was struggling to maintain friendships. I was like why can’t I have any friends?! And His response was “To protect your energy”. After that I changed the way I view relationships. I am conscious of my energy, and beginning to really think of my presence as well. What I need is within myself, and in order to have things outside of myself I need to be balanced and stay within my own space. But this is where boundaries and things of that nature are important. I will be available for what I want to be. And if I don’t, then I won’t do it. I deserve to have my space respected and so do you. You are enough. Always remember that.
Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the value of my presence. While I have for the most part valued my presence, I have come to realize that understanding the importance of your presence is essential for loving yourself. You have to know that you are important, irreplaceable and worthy of love. With this in mind, I’ve been being more conscious of the amount of effort I’m putting into other relationships. I want to be in relationships where my energy is matched. Where I feel that I can be my most authentic self. So that’s what I’ve decided to do. This summer, has really been a growing experience for me, and I’ve truly started to learn how to create boundaries and limit/increase my presence in certain situations.
One of the biggest things I’ve learned in this process is that relationships go through phases. And these phases serve purposes. While I am on this journey to love myself authentically, I’ve had a lot of alone time and also a lot of time with my mother. Experiencing the feeling of unconditional love from her (as an adult, instead of a child) really has helped me. It’s also made me more conscious of the fact that I’m important.
Today at the end of my yoga class, my instructor thanked me for coming. And after I was pondering on why my presence is always acknowledged. Because the same acknowledgment happened after I went to an event to talk about yoga teacher training, but the instructor explicitly told me that she loved my energy and I realized it’s because I am a light. My presence is important and healing, therefore it is important for me to be conscious of who I am allowing into my space but more importantly WHY i’m allowing them in my space.
I’m sharing this all to say, that acknowledging your self worth is crucial to loving yourself. So take that moment to really feel the importance of your presence.
And as always, remember it is all a growing process. Be patient with yourself.