i’ll be grateful, regardless

i’ve learned a lot within these past few months about gratitude.

I was talking to my best friend today about the faith crisis i had a couple of months ago.

i was in this space where i felt like i was constantly having to give up things/relationships that i didn’t want to. and i felt that i had no choice. and honestly, i was really angry with God.

i was angry that i was sad. i was angry that i was in the position i was in. but most of all, i was completely devastated.

i had to make a choice about my faith. if i really truly believed in God. if i really truly believed that He has this plan for me that’s greater than what i can imagine. if i want to lean into that, while still feeling all of the emotions.

and i decided i did. and i am still choosing to believe in God. i am still choosing my faith. i am still choosing growth.

i moved back to atlanta this past weekend and it’s already been a whirlwind of emotions. i’m making a lot of faith based decisions. i’m finishing graduate school. i’m moving to make sure i’m in a better space emotionally. practicing non-attachment. trying to stay present. figuring out what i can do to create happiness. trying to let myself know that these changes don’t always “feel” good. i’m praying for increased discernment. and trying to give myself more space to listen to God.

and y’all it is hard. and i will keep choosing growth.